My sacred ritual.
It happens once or twice a week. It really depends on my mood. It also depends on how I interpret the message from the card. Anyway, once or twice a week I enter my time. I pick a playlist. I put down my yoga mat and my coffee mug. Then, I start stretching. I get into the music’s groove and move whichever way it guides my body. I place my Mother Mary Oracle: protection, miracles & grace of the Holy Mother in front of me. I focus my mind and try to sort out all that has been taking my energy and focus.
It is almost like church for me. More precisely, in my case, like Sunday Catholic Mass. Yet, during “my” mass, I focus on my heavenly connection to Mary, also known as the mother of Jesus. It also helps me to think of God as a woman. Let me share even more with you. When I need to meditate on motherhood, I think about what Jesus was like as a teenager.
Seriously, the man didn’t just show up on Earth in his early adulthood. So, if you, like me, are a mother of Christian faith, you know what I mean.
Okay, back to my sacred ritual.
And here is the point: I am Catholic. As such, I believe in the Holy Trinity – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. I am also an intellectual. I understand the power of a well-built narrative and its social impact over centuries. I recognize the use of symbols and icons to “help” the story “stick around.” When I combine these two aspects of myself, I find my beliefs shaping who I am. And experiences help mold this identity.
(Fairchild, Alana. Mother Mary Oracle)
During meditation, I am totally guided by my will. I use music to open my mind. I use the deck of cards to “connect” with the Divine. I bought the deck at a store, but it is also available online. As the music plays, I let my mind wander and all my beliefs take over. I believe in a power greater than us (humans), I believe in love and, so, kindness.
I turn a card, which I call my oracle. I pray a Hail Mary and Our Father. I open my eyes. And there, in the middle of that cathartic moment, a light.
You see, the Trinity I believe in is often guided by a feminine power. To me the Divine is Love, and love is female.
. I am slightly stuck on this. I know where I want to go with my line of thoughts. However, I am struggling to put it down in words.
JUNE UPDATE:
In the Therapy Session
I spoke about my spiritual journey and my belief in the Divine and universal. I talked about the church (Roman-Apostolic Catholic and Maronite) that taught me, still teaches me, and is a part of who I am. I spoke about being a Mother, more specifically, about my importance within my family, in the well-being and formation of the human being I chose to conceive and raise. I discussed my shortcomings, influences, and feminine desires. I spoke about my “unicorn” husband, who isn’t and doesn’t have an asshole. I discussed what ties me down, my connection to the theme of rural versus urban. And I spoke about representation.
All of this is a result of the blog above, in which I wanted to question the fact that Mary (the mother of Jesus) is not mentioned as part of the Holy Trinity triangle, and I couldn’t. It created a topic for therapy. And the topic unfolded as described in the paragraph above.
Why am I telling you this?
Because it’s June. Just because. I’m telling you this out of love. Because it was in June, at 47 years old, that I realized love is the glue that joins, accepts, welcomes, questions, shares, and makes us grow.
To Love is to Accept.
To Love is to be Circular.
And a circle has no sharp edges. 🙂
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